"Pirate Boobies"

In the snack aisle at Target yesterday:


"Mommy, they have Pirate Boobies! Can we get it?"


"Max, it's called Pirate's Booty."


"I know.  Pirate Boobies.  I said it.  I want it."


"No, say it.  Pi-rit.  Boo-tee."


"Piiiiii-rit BOOOO-TEEEE!!!  THAT'S WHAT I SAID!  Can we get it?  Pleeeeaaaaasseeeee???!!!" (imagine a horrible whining voice)


"No. Sorry.  That's part of your consequence."


Oh, and what consequence does she speak of?  


Is that what you are asking yourself right now?


Well, my darling, dimpled son thought it would be a fun experiment to shove a 3-inch camcorder disk into my laptop DVD drive a few weeks ago, without my knowledge, of course.  


So yesterday, after the Apple store wizards took my computer apart for an hour, the Head Wizard  triumphantly came out holding a small DVD & said, "Ma'am, you can't put these in your computer."


I laughed & shook my head, realizing it was Max who broke the computer & not the library's copy of "Angelina Ballerina Follows her Dreams." (I was totally treating Angelina like a second-class citizen - thinking she made the DVD drive to break, when it was Max all along!  Poor Angelina!)


"Yes, I know," I said to the Apple guy.  "I think my 3-year-old must have done it."


"Uh, huh," was his reply.


For some reason I really needed the Apple guy to know I was not stupid enough to shove a small disk in my DVD drive, so then I started telling him all about Max's antics & proceeded to show him a picture of the culprit from my phone.  


Major desperation at this point.  


All very pathetic.  


The best part was when I got home. 


Max admitted to his crime, but promptly added, "But Ains-wee told me to do it!"


"NO I DID NOT!" Ainsley yelled back.  She was mortified & it was hilarious.  


So, who wants to take him for summer camp?  He is potty-trained now & I'm told he is a very good guest.  He would NEVER do such a thing at someone else's house - I am SURE of it!

Max: Ladies Man & Amateur Graduation Dancer

Max likes the ladies.  And they like him.  

During Ainsley's preschool graduation, his self-proclaimed girlfriend (appropriately named "Emily"), gave him a big smooch:

But Max only has eyes for older women - specifically one named Jada.  

"Mommy, Jada is sooooooo pretty," he says whenever she passes by.  Luckily, Jada puts up with him:

Ainsley must have known her brother would be the attention-seeker on her "special day," so she attempted to wear this outfit to graduation:

Yes, she did pick out a skirt, but this outfit was not happening.  

Somehow, Brad talked her into this:

Ainsley was very serious - you could tell she was trying hard to remember the words & actions to the song they performed.

Serious is NOT the word to describe Max, who decided the preschoolers' song was the soundtrack to his personal dance party.  

He decided to break dance in the aisle (yep, I've got that kid):

Then he got up on the stage to dance - alone, with no music - after graduation was over. 

Despite the antics of Mischief Maker Max, it was a great graduation.  Ainsley had a blast & is so excited for Kindergarten!

 

Bribery & Fashion

Today I swallowed my pride & bribed Ainsley to wear a dress with a matching sweater for school pictures.  (Spiderman toy in exchange for a dress.)


Why do I stoop to such levels?  Please see the following:

Ainsley still loves "stripes on stripes," regardless of the color.

Boots & shorts 

(don't worry, we didn't let her leave the house like this)

She still LOVES tie-dye.  

(I still don't.)

Thanks Auntie Julie for bringing more tie-dye!

Now she loooves peace signs too!

Why would you wear the matching shirt to the skirt when you could proclaim your love for soccer instead?

The monochromatic "my-favorite-color-is-blue" look:

And my personal favorite, tie-dye & stripes.  Awesome.

Where have we been?

I have no excuse for not updating the blog - just busy with my little monsters.  Here's a recap of what we've been up to the past few months:

Max continues to use his dimples to get out of trouble.

Ainsley is totally & completely obsessed with dinosaurs. She wore this hat for 9 hours.

Max & Ainsley are still best buddies, even though they fight constantly. Here they are playing "swim lessons" wearing "goggles" & "swim caps" (aka-hats made by Granny).



Max will still do anything for a laugh.



Ainsley made it through a dental checkup without having a panic attack...



...and Max completed his first dental visit with no tears, no hesitation - it was a miracle! Ainsley prepped him for a month - big sisters are the best! (I'm hoping she'll potty-train him, too!)



Costco finally started carrying Diet Mountain Dew - making Brad a very happy man. 



I took the kids to a "Rapunzel" puppet show - Mommy should have found out if there was a "scary witch" because Max was NOT fond of her in any way. Now he is suspicious of all puppets - see above.



Ainsley made a worm puppet, named Andy, after the puppet show. 



Taking after his sister at age 2, Max reminded us about "safety first" & donned a bike helmet during lunch.



Ainsley still makes us laugh with her wardrobe choices.



Auntie Julie came to visit & brought these LOVELY tank tops. A "Muscle Beach" tank & another tie-dye frock are really things I wanted in their closets. Of course they both LOVE them.



Ainsley continues to show us her "creative" side - especially when she's alone in her room during "rest time." This particular day she decided to make her own kite & try to fly it with the wind from her ceiling fan. She couldn't understand why it wouldn't fly & was very mad about this & for some reason it was my fault. 



Another day she decided to make her closet into her clubhouse. You had to have an invitation to gain entry-it's very exclusive.  She slept there for 2 or 3 nights.



This is my personal favorite: Instead of cleaning up her room, Ainsley decided she would stack all of the toys on her floor in one basket & turn it into a castle for kids to snowboard in. Seriously? I had no response so I just took a picture.



We've also been enjoying the unseasonably warm weather. On this day Max & Ainsley were hitting our tree with tennis rackets & butterfly nets to "make it snow," then would attempt to slide in the grass on our saucers & toboggan. They couldn't figure out why they wouldn't go fast "like with regular snow."



Ballet cowgirl Woody - Ainsley still loves "Toy Story" & ballet & dressing up like Woody.



We celebrated Granny Thea's birthday by sticking 25 flamingos in her yard. It was pretty funny (but it was freezing out!)



Ainsley started the spring soccer season & is having a great time. We're not sure if she likes playing soccer or wearing her penguin soccer socks more (her team is called the "Princess Penguins").



We've had lots of fun visitors this winter. Max loved playing with Ronan Will, 2 yrs, who was visiting from California.



Ainsley & Max love baby Kaitlin Schorgl, born in January, who is a frequent visitor.



Ainsley even got to hold baby Rosalie, Ronan's little sister. It was so special to see Auntie Annie & her kiddos!



We are also pretty obsessed with firefighters!  Firefighter Uncle Rich has been writing us lots of letters telling us all about what it's like to be a firefighter in Northern California. He even sent us his badges-see above!



Firefighter Ainsley



No brother-sister firefighting duo would be complete without matching firefighter jammies, right?
Please check back more frequently - hopefully I'll be updating this more often!

Who ARE Those Boys?

"Ainsley, who do you think is in this picture?"

"Ummmmm, Uncle Joshie & Uncle Andrew?"

And that, my friends, PROVES that my sister & I had the WORST haircuts IN THE HISTORY OF ALL TIME from 1984-1991.

[In 1991 we staged a coup & started doing our own hair - this was also tragic - my styling "tricks" included a LOT of hairspray & a curling iron & Julie **gasp** talked my mom into a perm.]

My mom claims this was the super-stylish Dorothy Hamill look, but since I wasn't an ice skater, nor an Olympic aficionado, its popularity was lost on me. 


Back to the conversation with my 4-year-old about this AH-MAZING picture:

"Ainsley!  That's Mommy & Auntie Julie!!  That's us when we're little!"

"Where?  Are you hiding behind Uncle Josh & Uncle Andrew?" (she is dead serious.)

"No.  That is us!  THAT is Julie,"  I say, pointing to my little white-haired "brother" in the photo that is sure to go viral, as you are reading this, under the google search terms "child abuse."

"Well, why do you guys have haircuts that are for a boy?" 

Hmmmm, good question, Ainsley.    

We totally had boy haircuts.  Yes, I looked like a boy.


That's why my mom let me get my ears pierced about 2 hours after someone called me a "little boy" at the library when I was in the 3rd grade, emotionally scarring me for life.  


No questions asked - I left the library in tears & I think my mom drove me straight to the mall to get my ears pierced.

In my mom's defense, when I told her that Ainsley thought we were her uncles, she went on & on about the "quality" of our  hairdos: 


"I only took you girls to a hairdresser who was really 'with it.'  She took her time and really did a nice job on your hair.  That haircut was very stylish at the time."

Really?  


I wonder if this hairdresser was the same lady who told my mom that cow & bear sweatshirts were in style too - because you better believe that Julie & I are wearing our "nicest" sweatshirts in that photo.