Officially 3!

Watch out world - Ainsley is officially 3!

In addition to being a great big sister, continuing the dramatic tears 5-10 times a day for no reason, Ainsley also provides lots of giggles, & a lovely screech.

She is also perfecting her role as hall monitor. Here is a good example:

The scene - this morning in the car, after I (gently) nailed a curb:

Ainsley: Mommy, what was that noise?

Me: Oh, mommy just hit the curb.

A: You should really pay attention, Mommy.

Me: What?

A: You need to pay attention to what you are doing.

Me: Thanks. Who taught you that?

A: Daddy. He says you not pay attention when you drive. Like when you hit our basketball goal.

Me: When did he say that?

A: Bemember (remember)? Last night he say you hit the basketball goal & you not know you scratch the car when you check it out but you did scratch it & you didn't even see the scratch you silly Mommy.

Awesome.

She remembers verbatim a conversation Brad & I had in the kitchen when she was in the other room playing with Max. We didn't even know she was listening.

If she is going to recall things like this for the next 18 years she better win some scholarship money in the Scripps spelling bee or something. We will start training tomorrow.

"I Want a Penis, Mommy."

So maybe Freud was right.

If you follow this blog you know that Ainsley is very interested in her brother's anatomy.

A few months ago we were eating lunch when my 2 1/2 year-old decides to have this heart-to-heart with me:

Ainsley: "Max has a penis?"

Me: "Yes."

A: "And I have a vagina."

Me: "Yes."

A: "And girls have vaginas."

Me: "Yes."

A: "And boys have a penis?"

Me: "Yes."

A: "And Daddy has a penis."

Me: "Yes."

A: "But I don't have a penis?"

Me: "No, you don't have a penis."

A: "Why I don't have a penis, Mom?"

Me: "Because you're a girl & girls don't have those."

A: "But I want one, Mom. I want a penis, Mommy."

Me: "Well, you don't have one."

A: "But I want one, Mom. I have a vagina?"

Me: "Yes."

A: "Can I watch Dora?"

Me: "Sure."

I would have let her watch anything at that point if we could just end that conversation. Can't wait for the next sex talk - I would like to think it would be in 10 years but I know it will be sooner than that - ugh!

We're Sorry, Max

Max, we are sorry for the following pictures. These, & many more in the future, are possible only because you have an older sister. Please note that to date, I have not dressed you in pink (except when I couldn't find socks during nap time).

"Max is wearing my glasses, Mom!"

"Look, Max has enough hair for a bow!"

My Two Moms

"I'm going to be Max's Mommy." "I'm going to wipe Max's nose." "I'm going to pull Max up on the couch by one arm & dislocate his shoulder." Ok, I added the last one.

Poor, Max. Poor, poor Max. Not only does he have me wiping his rear end & nose, telling him to stop pulling cords & licking the floor, but he also has an older sister who likes to shout these commands in his face.

It took about a year, but it's official - not only are they best friends, but she is also his second mother.

"Look, Mommy! We are going on a boat ride, Mommy! Max is in my boat, Mommy!"

"GET ME OUT OF THIS BOAT! I AM BEING HELD HOSTAGE BY MY SISTER!"

The best part about her new "mom" role is that I am not allowed to play with them or take care of Max when she is.

For example:

Me: "Can I see the fort you guys made?"

Ainsley: "NO! It is just for me & Max!!"

Someone asked if that made me sad. Sad? Are you kidding? I have been waiting three years for someone else to entertain her!!

"Look, Mom. I am helping Max eat Cheerios. We are eating them together. Just me and Max. Not you."

"I will help Max get big and strong. Eat your Cheerios, Max. You like them. Yes, you do. Yes you do."

There is a sweet part to this story too.

A month ago Ainsley & Max were holding hands & she said:

"Max, you are my best friend. You my best bud Max - my best brother ever my best buddy. I love you." And then she gave them a hug.

It was so sweet. So when she is screaming "Get away from me, Max! Don't touch me, Max!" That is what I try to think about!

Before You Visit our House...

Ask us if we've had our rugs cleaned. We promise we won't be offended. Really.

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And, yes, even though you can see Max's ribs, we do feed him. On a regular basis, too. He is just a tall & skinny future male model/NBA star.

Watch Out Mia

Ainsley's class started their own soccer team. Yes, 3 year-olds need to be involved in organized sports. Since he is a former high school hero (go Mustangs!), Brad is taking Ainsley's first team sport very seriously - buying her ill-fitting Umbros (yep, they still make them) & running drills with her before soccer even started.

Please note that we did not tell her to stand like this - she chose this pose on her own while practicing.

Oh, I almost forgot...guess who the coach is? None other than Blue Valley North soccer legend Brad Yeretsky! Every Saturday morning he gets to lead 19 3 year-olds in a Simon Says & Red Light/Green Light modified to involve a soccer ball.

Ainsley & Brad like to practice in the yard. "Ainsley, you need to learn how to kick with both feet so you can get a scholarship," her daddy said. I am so proud.

We just plop Max down in the grass & he claps for his sister, or for cars driving by, or for the wind blowing. Not really sure why he is clapping. Just happy he isn't licking the sidewalk or eating grass - both definite possibilities.

Max may have more fun at soccer practice than most of the kids. We've only have 3 practices & there will certainly be more to come from the world of toddler sporting events!!

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(Blog note-people have asked me about leaving comments: if you want to leave a comment about a blog post and don't have a google or yahoo account - I think you comment as "anonymous" & then just write your name at the end of your comment - you may have to type in a "special word" so that google can verify you are a live person and not a computer program. Thanks!)

"But WHY?"

Ainsley started the "why" phase 6 months ago, but it is big & bad at present.

Here are two of our favorite "why" incidents thus far:

1) While I'm changing Max's diaper -

"Mommy! Max is grabbing his

penis!!" Ainsley proclaims.

"Yes, I know he is, Ainsley."

"But why is he doing that?"

"I'm not sure," because really, I'm not. Are you? Because if you do know & know how I can discourage this, please let me know.

"But WHY?"

"I don't know, honey."

"But WHHHHHY?"

"I don't know, sometimes he just does." (Brad is stifling laughter from the couch as I shoot him a "help me & please-explain-to-your-daughter-why-your-inferior-gender-needs-to-grab-your-genitalia-all-the-time look.")

"BUUUT WHHHHHHHHHHY? WHHHHHHHHY IS MAX TOUCHING HIS PENIS, MOMMMMMMMMMY?"

"Ainsley, let's go outside," Brad says.

Daddy saves the day. For now.

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2) While Ainsley is going through my purse:

"What's this Mommy?" as she pulls a tampon out of my purse.

"That's one of Mommy's private things."

"But what IS it?"

"One of my private things."

"BUT WHAT IS IT???!!!!"

"Ainsley, it is one of my private things. When you are a mommy you will have it too, now please put it back in my purse."

"UGH!!!!"

I am sure tears followed this, but since that happens about 10 times a day, I really didn't pay attention.

WHY????