How To Make Your Kid's Teacher Hate You...

Ainsley excited for her first day of Pre-K - warning: do NOT call it Pre-School!

...by picking her up 30 minutes late on the first day of school.  

Yep, that's what I did.  

Now, I'm not going to blame it on the school's somewhat confusing schedule, because honestly, I spent 3 years in Law School preparing to dominate the Pre-K pickup schedule.

Not to brag, but I'm a master at carpool, grape slicing & stain removal & can only credit those skills to that juris doctor degree that certainly pays off every single day.  (It does Brad, it does!!)   

What I do blame for my tardiness is the blissful state I was in that day.

Not only was Ainsley in school all day long, but so was Max!  (He refused to be photographed because "It fee-zing, Mommy, it fee-zing!"  It was 72 degrees.)

I think the school saw the desperation in my eyes & agreed to let Max start Parents Day Out in September instead of waiting until November when he turned 2 1/2.  

I know, I know, how could I ever get sick of this little frat guy, right?

And why did they think I was desperate for a break from my little troublemaker?  

Hmmmm...well, it may have been the bags under my eyes, the baseball hat covering the unwashed hair, or I probably just told them.  

I do have a history for sharing a little more than I should with teaching staff...you may recall the "Max erection" incident - which is NOT about my baby & an erection, so get your minds out of the gutters sickos.  (It is a funny story though:  http://3goingon13.blogspot.com/2010/03/max-has-what.html )

So anyway, on the first day of school it turned out both kids were to be picked up at 2:30 pm.  I picked up Max on time & even saw Ainsley & her teacher, but killed time with Max for 30 minutes because we knew Ainsley wouldn't want to miss any of the exciting Pre-K action.  

Whoops.  That action ended at 2:30 & we found Ainsley following her teacher around, setting up for the next day (big shocker).  

Some kids would cry, thinking their mom forgot them, my child was thrilled to play teacher for 30 extra minutes.  

And her sweet teacher did her very best to slap on a smile, abstain from giving me dagger eyes & not make a comment about how people should pass a test before they can become parents.

All in all, a great first day of school!

Hell Has Frozen Over

Hell has officially frozen over.

Ainsley ASKED to take a ballet class, TOOK said ballet class & LIKED IT!

Since age 2, I'd ask if she wanted to take a dance class.  


She'd turn her nose up at me & reply a snarky "no!"  Recently it was followed by a "when do my football/karate/violin/baseball/tennis lessons start?"


But not this time.  


My Masterful Mommy Manipulation techniques finally worked: "Ooooh, look at your friend Eileen's leotard, she must have come from dance lessons;" "Wow, look how high Nora can jump, I wonder if she learned that at dance?"


And lo & behold, September 3, 2011 - a day I will always remember:


My little girl, who often requests to be called "Andy" from Toy Story & plans to be Woody for Halloween said, "Mommy, I want to take ballet."  


Success!!!

Tiny Tim

When you are 2 & only weigh 23 pounds you get to do special things - like have your dad & sister shove you in a gift bag so you can repeatedly pop out like a jack-in-the-box for everyone's entertainment. 

* * * * * * * *

This was also the day Max learned to put his shorts on "all by himself."  

He only missed the mark a little, turning said shorts into a backwards loin cloth/skirt-type of thing that he wore around the house all day.  

So close.  So very close, buddy. 

Lollipops & Kiddie Tranquilizers

How many lollipops does it take to keep my 2-year-old quiet on a 4-hour flight?

Only 8.  

I was surprised too - I think I had 30 in my purse.  And I was ready to use all of them if it meant a quiet Max on the plane.  

But don't think I relied solely on Dum Dums to keep a 4 & 2-year-old happy on a plane ride.  

Brad & I were armed with an iPad, a laptop, possibly a bottle of Benadryl (I'll never admit it in print), 12 DVDs, books, stickers, crayons, blankets, new toys & many, many Southwest drink tickets (for me & all the passengers around us).

Three Bloody Marys later (mine, not the children's), Max & Ainsley were still awake,  Brad was shaking his head at me in disapproval as he read his book while sitting next to the kids (they kicked me out of their row shortly after takeoff).

Do you think Max & Ainsley would let me READ A BOOK while I sat with them?  No - which is why I plied myself with alcohol (in case I had to go back & sit with the little monsters!).  

So, 4 "short" hours later we made it to the Oakland airport. 

Our pack mule (Brad) managed to haul 2 heavy car seats & 2 suitcases to our rental car ("real men" don't use Smart Carts?), while our dazed & confused kids asked, "How much longer 'till we get to Auntie Cil Cil's?"  

And so we began what should have been a 1 1/2 hour drive to Sonoma County, but the Yeretsky crew managed to make it in 4.  

OH. MY. GOD.   

One would think this would have been a peaceful drive, that my kids would have fallen asleep since they had been up for over 14 hours with no nap, but no peace was to be found in the tiny Kia that Budget tried to tell us was a "medium size car." 

Max would not stop talking the whole drive (clearly he is my child).  

Ainsley had her fingers in her ears yelling, "Stop talking Max, I'm trying to sleep, Mom make him stop talking!"

And finally, about 30 minutes from my aunt's house it happened - SILENCE!  


Next time we're talking to the doctor about kiddie tranquilizers - they make those, right?