"Mommy, when will I turn into a real pirate?"

We're baaack!  We're having a fun summer - Ainsley loves that we aren't tied to a tight schedule & she can wear a leotard & cowgirl boots whenever she wants.

Here are some new Ainsley funnies to make you laugh:

          ******

After Brad vacuumed the car:

"Mommy, Daddy is a HERO!"

"Yes he is," I reply.

"Max & me are heroes too. But not you mom, you're not a hero, mom, you are just a mommy."

          ******

After coming home from Grandma's:

"We got to eat candy at grandma's because it was a special occasion!" Ainsley proclaimed.

"Why was it a special occasion?"

"Because you and Daddy weren't there."

          ******

"Mommy, when will I turn into a real pirate? When I grow up?"

          ******

"Ainsley, what are you going to be when you grow up?"

"I am NOT getting big!" she yells.  "I'm going to stay little FOREVER!"  

(This was the standard response to this question for about 6 months, until this beautiful gem, below)

          ******

Big dreams:

"Mom, when I grow up, I'm going to work at the dry cleaners & wash cars," Ainsley informs me in the car one day. 

"Hmmm, do you mean you want to work at the car wash and wash cars?" I reply.

"Yeah!  And then when I'm done, I'll work at the dry cleaners to wash the clothes.  It will be the best jobs ever, Mom!"

          ******

Having a heart-to-heart with Grandma:

"I want to stay little forever, but my brain keeps making me grow.  I'm fighting my brain so I can stay little forever, Grandma."

          ******

Randomly, on the way to school one day:

"Mommy, your tummy looks big, are you sure there isn't a baby in there?" Ainsley asks, trying to look at my stomach from the back seat.

"No, Ainsley, I am not having a baby," I reply.

"Well, when you have a baby, I will take very good care of it & we can put the crib in my room & I will wake up & give it a bottle, Mommy, & it will be so great & you will never hear it cry & I will change its diapers & you will never hear it at night & it will be so great & I will be a great big sister---"

"Ainsley, I'm not having a baby.  We are not having another baby right now."

"Well, are you sure?  Ok, when you are ready to, me & Max are going to take care of it & put the crib in my room . . ."

          ******

Ainsley comes downstairs, backpack packed (with God only knows), insisting we take a trip to Wyoming at 7 am:

"Mom, we are going to Wyoming this weekend & I am going to bring my backpack to so I can be ready for action."


(Umm, we've never been to Wyoming, nor were we planning a trip there.)

           ******

Max finally started talking a lot, so he even has something worth repeating:

"Mommy, why Ains-wee cry-ing?" Max asks from timeout, with a huge grin on his face.

"She's crying because you hit her, Max.  And that was naughty," I said. 

"No, Max bite.  Max bite Ainswee.  No hit."

In case you were wondering, it's really fun living with a 2-year-old vampire.  

A Day in the Life of Max

Max's birthday is right around the corner & he has perfected 2-year-old behavior already.  


He is into everything & loves to make mischief & keep me on my toes.


Here's a sampling of just some of his daily activities:

1. Eating paint.  Why just put it on the paper when apparently it tastes so good?

2. Stealing accessories from his sister.  Right now he favors Ainsley's fake Louis Vuitton purse.  

"That is MY PURSE & it is VERY SPECIAL because Auntie Colleen gave it to me & MOOOOOOOOM, Max took my purse AGAIN!"

     

Oy vey.  Can't we all just get along?

3.  Sure, they can get along.  They get along well when they pretend to be puppies & eat Cheerios off the floor together.  Wow.  That looks like a clean activity.

4. Our notorious shoe caper.

5.  More food on the floor.  He figures if he throws yogurt raisins on the ground, he gets to eat more.  He's a sneaky one, that Max.  

Plumber's Crack

You don't have to be a plumber to sport this look:

Max was given a set of power tools for Christmas & the kids are always "fixing" things in our house.

Safety first! Ainsley's very careful to always wear her eye protection:

Little girls do NOT need low-riding jeans!! I'm constantly telling her to "pull your jeans up, please."

Her trusty assistant, Max (don't worry, his pants fit better, although his safety glasses do not):

Maybe this fix-it team can tackle the trike that recently fell apart after Ainsley finished riding it.

Uh oh! Looks like Daddy forgot to read the directions carefully.

Max Isn't In Preschool?

Please don't tell this guy he's not in preschool, because he most certainly thinks he is.

Max has somehow become the little rock star of Ainsley's preschool class.

When we drop her off, a gaggle of 4-year-old girls surround Max, grab his hands & try to shuttle him around the classroom.

Ainsley ignores him & Max tries to get away from the girls & play on his own.

Eventually, I lure him out of the classroom with the promise of the water fountain, but one day this month was different - he got to actually STAY for Ainsley's music performance.

We arrived early for Ainsley's performance & Max was ready to perform.

Once he saw his sister (with the orange t-shirt & jeans - yep, the only girl NOT wearing a dress) he quickly took his place on the stage.

When the music teacher encouraged audience participation, I'm not sure this is what she had in mind. Thankfully, the teachers were so nice & didn't mind.

I guess Max could only stand the limelight so long - he decided to loiter at stage right & run up & down the stairs. Awesome. I was really proud.

I was told that other naughty toddlers were doing the same thing mine was...but I don't see any others...do you?

There he is, so proud of his performance. Max stayed up there with Ainsley for about half of the songs - maybe he is destined for the stage.

I had to throw this one in - this is of Ainsley & the Infamous Peter.

Here she is trying to encourage Peter to sing while still trying to sing at the same time - it was pretty funny to watch.

Peter is one of her best buddies & for the first 6 months of preschool Ainsley used to pretend to be Peter at home & would only respond if we called her "Peter."

Peter's mom & I think we'll display this picture at their wedding.

Baby No. 3

"Mom, your stomach looks big, are you having twins?" Ainsley asks.

"Ummm, no Ainsley, I'm not having a baby," I reply.

"Well, I think I'm ready for one," she assures me.

Two out of 4 Yeretskys are ready for baby number 3.

Unfortunately for Ainsley & Max, it's the wrong two. (Do you really think I'm that crazy?)

They looooooove babies. Ainsley even got to hold the newest member of the KU Law family (above), Sam Emert, at 9 weeks old.

Then she offered her babysitting services to his mom.

"Mom, I think I am ready for you to have a baby girl & we will put its crib in my room & I will keep a bottle of formula in there & you won't even have to feed it ever, Mom. I really will," is what I heard on our way to preschool the other day.

Apparently Ainsley has this whole thing figured out, but she's going to have to stick to babysitting for now.

Holy Purple Sweatpants, Batman!

Oh, purple sweatpants. You are my nemesis.

You were intended to go to school as an "extra set of clothes" for bathroom accidents, but somehow Ainsley finds you every single time you come out of the wash.

"Mom, I loooove my purple sweatpants. They are soooo comfy & cozy." Fabulous.

Ainsley is clearly not a slave to fashion, but has come up with a few more fashion rules for the preschool set.

Ainsley's Fashion Tips:

1. Socks should never, ever match.

2. "I will not ever wear a dress, unless it is Christmas or someone is taking a picture, but not you, mom."

3. T-shirts are always appropriate, even if it is 19 degrees out.

4. T-shirts over long sleeve shirts make outfits much better.

5. Shirts with words are the best, especially if they come from vacation destinations.

6. Holding a Toy Story Woody doll makes every outfit that much better.

1st Born vs. 2nd Born

Sometimes I feel bad for Max, born into a house of 1st born, type-A people.

Often this is when Ainsley recites all of the rules pertaining to the new couch ("Max, you can't drink milk on the couch. Max, you can't jump on the couch," etc.)

Nothing illustrates the difference between these two better than pictures of their first sledding experience of the season. (And yes, they were thrilled to sled on 1/2 inch of snow and we've had about 12 more since then!)

Mullet Removal

Thanks for everyone's comments on MulletGate.

It was a tough battle, but Mommy won & we are a Mullet-Free family once again.

Hooray!

Max was a true haircut champion as long as he was plied with mini candy bars.

He impressed everyone at the salon, including his stylist, Erin.

Ainsley was there for moral support in case Max cried.

"Did I cry when I got my first haircut, Mom?" she asked.

Ummm, you mean did you shriek like you were being waterboarded when Erin attempted to shampoo your hair?

No, you didn't cry at

all.

"Oh, you were just a little nervous, sweetie," I lied.

Max is Sold Out to Santa

We finally received an emailed copy of our picture with Santa this week.

After a month of brainwashing, we convinced Ainsley to visit Santa on December 23rd.

As you can see, she wasn't entirely sold on the idea of physical contact with this bearded elf, so instead, she volunteered,

"I will not sit on Santa's lap, I will only stand by him, but Max will sit on his lap, Mom. That's a great idea!"

Yeah, he was thrilled.

MulletGate 2011

Like many great Midwesterns before him, my son has a mullet.

Exhibit A:

Exhibit B:

We weren't trying to achieve this amazing hairstyle, it just sort of happened.

Really, you can't even tell there is a party in the back going on when you look at him head-on.

Exhibit C:

This has caused great debate within our family. Brad & Ainsley don't want Max to get a haircut, but I do.

Guess who is going to win?

Brad wants Max to grow his ponytail (see below) longer & donate it to Locks for Love. Seriously?

Feel free to leave your comments for MulletGate/MulletWatch 2011 - we'll let you know our decision.